Thanksgiving Day

I hate it that I still have tears to cry. I'm afraid I don't know when they will be dry.  I miss the things I took for granted, and now they are never more. How do you get that back?  You can't!  You just have to move on.  I was told that once...or maybe I heard it somewhere but...What do you leave behind when you die? Good question.

Those who die never know the real answer. For those of us left behind, there are memories. Good and bad, sad days and days when thoughts leave us glad. I'm not there yet.  I morn the loss of you. I still haven't gotten over Mom and Dad and you had to go and join the list. 

I didn't tell you I loved you enough. I always thought you would be here, just a phone call away. And now you're gone.  I'm mad at your for making me the officail eldest.  I miss your "free till your fool" nature.  I pray you didn't feel pain.  When will my eyes be dry?  I read a book  that said a real heart could not really be broken.  But my tough act is up, my heart is broken. I'm no better than a sad love song.

Wind

No  one knows why the wind blow. Or "which" when the time come. Soul will stay or soul will go.

And although the departure will surely make your heart break. Find comfort in knowing.

GOD makes no mistakes...

Your Too Much

If a man/wo-man tells you, your too much.  The maybe you are!  You have been through too much in life to be reduced to just a resting stop on their path to "Somewhere else Land"

Your too much to allow a history of hurt and lessons learned to repeat themselves for someone else's selfish needs.

Your too much to allow RESPECT to be  minor factor in a major relationship.

Your too much to allow any shallow wind to blow down the strong walls you have built from overcoming being: not enough, just short, and almost.

Your to much not to require that you be a priority in that someone special eyes.

Well be "TOO MUCH" because being less would be a tragedy.

If your "TOO MUCH" maybe, just maybe THEY aren't enough to handle this much. And that is their problem.

And in that case like I always say "TOO MUCH" is more than good enough and that is always a good thing in my book. So go ahead and label me as "Too Much" at least we will both be on the same sheet of music.

Wish me Luck...Until the next line....

This is Grown People Stuff

"It always starts innocently enough, and before you can catch your breath...you done fell into Grown People Stuff"

This is Grown People Stuff.

Contrary to popular beliefs it takes more than fancy equipment to work with grown people stuff. You may consider yourself as Mr. Baisden  said a Maintenance Man putting I work. But if that is all you bringing to the table then that ain't gonna cut it when getting into grown people stuff.

You can't just be a "quick fit-it man", you got to be something like an "I own it man", with grown people stuff.  You have to be a Jack of all trades, and a Master of many. Alaskan pipe layer, Texas oil driller, Atlanta peach picker, Candy Land candy licker. Like Thor you have to handle your hammer on some kind of other world level tip to get with this Grown People Stuff.

Me looking at you, looking at me, looking at you, flirtation leading to conversations, leading to sarcasm, followed by tonguegasums, and it all started innocently enough and before you caught your breath. You got caught up into this Grown People Stuff.


Sometimes when I have nothing to do I try my hand at writing poetry. It kind of sucks but I like the process. So.......

Wish me luck until the next line....

Looking Back

I was thinking about old songs my Mom use to play when I was a kid and how I have lived my life like and old blues song.

Looking back over the time I must have lost my mind. If I could I swear sometimes, I wish I could just hit rewind.

Some of the stuff I think I did was just way too soon. Trying to do what everybody else said was right, instead of what my heart told me was right.  My first mind, instinct, common sense, my inner me, you know listening to all them people sitting on the sidelines of my life chanting "Girl do the right thing". If I had listened to me, while I was the one trying to find my own happy, I would have jumped a fence instead of jumping a broom. But I moved too soon.

Chasing cotton candy stories and childhood fairy tales wishes, shoot being a kid was easy. One blink of an eye and just like my mama us to say it was over, I had gone and grown up. Now there were no more cotton candy and fairy tails dreams, there were checks and balances, schedules, and appointments. Ain't no more tooth fairies leaving money underneath my pillow.  These feet got to keep moving to keep the lights on. It ain't easy being grown, and now I got little mouths to feed of my own.

Looking back over the times I didn't lose my mind. I still wish I could hit rewind. Just so I could really listen and learn my life lessons this time.

But I can't so wish me luck, until the next line.....

A caged Lion

A caged lion is still a lion, you can't turn it into a house cat. You can play with it like it's a house cat, treat it like it's a house cat but it's true nature will already be that of a lion.

The mistake we make is thinking that nurture will change nature. In some cases with much effort maybe, but not in the case of a lion.

The lion can be your pride, your confidence, your true self, who you see when you look in your eyes in the mirror when the world is not peeping in.

Own your lion, embrace the caged lion in you. A caged lion can't rule and a lion or lioness is the king or queen of the jungle.
Don't you want to rule you personal jungle? Unleash the lion.

Wish me luck...until next line...

The Problem with being On the Top

The problem with being on top is that you have to step on a few people to get there. I am not totally sold on the ideal that when someone tells me that they are truly happy for my success that there is not a little envy in them. Because even when I am happy for you, there is a little green eyed monster in my belly that I try to destroy but no matter how hard I try it is like roaches it won't die. I have envy.

I am so very tired of people smiling in my face and when I say MYI mean any old MY that applies! Face saying how happy they are and then in the next breath talking smack about how they can do better or how they would do something different. Well here is a novel ideal...get off your arse where your great plans come from and do something, instead of just polluting the air by just saying a lot of nothing.  I can not count the amount of times I have sat in a random waiting room and wished that some random stranger throat would get so dry that dust would shoot out of if so they would SHUT THE HECK UP.  What has brought on this rant is the current chat about the President. I am so sick and tired of these people of these UN-united states talking about there/our President.  Only in this America can the people talk this much ISH against the leader that THEY the same people voted into that office. Let THEM try that in Cuba, it would be a sad, sad day for these UN loyal Americans. Only in these Americas can and impeached ex-president get more respect than the reigning President. I would shake my head but this it just these American way. I am proud to be an American but ashamed of the way we misbehave in front of company.

I don't stand here claiming to understand politics... that's why I shop and not run for office. However, comma, I vote because in these Americas it is my right and I get it RIGHT. All over the world when there is some other country that is having a civil war they ALL call on these united states to come and help. In my history books I don't recall any foreigner countries sending help in our civil war so riddle me that. Also in all united nations effort, why is it that these United States always send the most troops? Why are we always the most united in the nations, why are we always the ones called out? Why are there not children on the news telling the President or Lords of Other Nations that if they don't send help when they grow up they will tell the world that the Lords, Prim Ministers, Queens, Head How's, didn't help then.

The Problem with being on top is that you can not make everybody happy. At best you might make one person a day happy, and if that person is yourself they you are winning the game. If you are not that person you got to go back to the drawing board and try again tomorrow.  You have to crack a few eggs to make a cake, squeeze a few lemons to make lemonade, know when to hold em know when to fold em, know when to walk away know when to run. In the end you will be on top with a good strategy a piece of cake and a tall glass of lemonade, and you will be a winner. It is not easy being on top but the view is lovely.

This is much ado about nothing. I think I will go to bed now and start all over tomorrow.

Wish me luck